I’m missing Andrew today (nothing new there, huh?). A few weeks ago, my sister asked me some questions about the missing. She asked me whether I actually missed Andrew or just missed not having a child to raise. I tried to explain that, for me, it’s both because they are one in the same.
I miss feeling his kicks and squirms inside my womb. I miss his companionship for those 9 months. I miss rubbing those cute little hands and nose. I miss patting his little bottom as I held him. I just….miss….him.
I don’t just miss the idea of him, I truly miss him, the person, my son. Some may not be able to comprehend how you can become so attached to a child that you never “knew.” I won’t know him in the same way that other parents will know their child, but I did know him. And I look forward to getting to know him more for the rest of eternity in heaven.
I missed him so much today that I decided to eat lunch at the cemetary. I grabbed some Subway and headed out to sit at the cemetary to enjoy the beautiful weather. Even though I know that Andrew isn’t really at the cemetary, I still feel very connected to him when I’m there. It was a good time and I got out some good tears. I look forward to spending more time out there in the future. Our lunch date was just what I needed today.