It’s funny how God works sometimes, isn’t it?
This morning, Kevin and I attended a grief seminar at a local church, and as I think about how we ended up there, it is so obvious that it was God-ordained.
Shortly after we lost Andrew, a friend of mine reached out to someone she knew who had lost her son over 6 years ago. This sweet lady passed along a CD by Watermark which included the song “Glory Baby.” This is such a sweet song, and has ministered to my heart so much in the past couple of months.
My friend told me back in August that this nice lady was planning a grief seminar and encouraged us to reach out to her if we were interested in attending. I was able to connect to her through mail and email over the past few weeks to thank her for the CD and to find out more information on the seminar. Today, I was able to meet her in person and to share the stories of our precious babies. (I also discovered that she had our same labor and delivery nurse when she delivered her other children – pretty cool!).
Over the past month or so, I had been talking to Kevin about finding a support group to attend in our local area. I have been so blessed to connect with women who have experienced similar losses via the internet, but was really longing to find support in my own city as well. God used the seminar today to answer that prayer.
When we arrived, it was a tad awkward. Everyone was so sweet and loving, but I have never attended anything like this before, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. The leader of the seminar spoke briefly about grief in general and also specifically the loss of an infant. She acknowledged that infant loss is probably one of the most overlooked losses, and my ears were sharply attuned.
She then opened it up for sharing. One by one, we each shared our experiences carrying and then losing our precious babies. I shared our story last, but hearing these women echo the same heartache, pain, anger, shock, and hurt I feel was so emotionally draining yet so healing. I think I sobbed the entire 3 hours that we all shared, and ended up leaving with a headache. I’m not complaining though – it was time well spent!
I’m so thankful that God ordained the time with those families this morning. Our stories were all very similar – mostly stillborn babies, and 2 of which were firstborn little boys – and it was so wonderful to be around women who literally know what I’m going through.
I found out today, I’m not the only one who……
…is afraid to go get her hair cut because I don’t know how to tell my hairdresser about our loss.
…is a mother yet doesn’t have “proof” of that here with me.
…is very hurt when people don’t acknowledge our son or our loss.
…is very scared about trying to get pregnant again.
I’m saddened by the fact that all of us had such a traumatic event in common, but yet so grateful to have met these families and to have heard about their beautiful babies.
At the end of the time, we discussed making these meetings into a monthly event. I’m really thankful that everyone else was interested in this, because I know it will be a huge help and part of my personal healing. I look forward to getting to know these wonderful families more and walking this difficult road together.
Who would have thought that this is how I would spend my Saturday morning on November 14th?
…and for that, I’m so grateful!
He loves me so very much and continues to provide for ALL of my needs!