I’ve never been one to put all that much weight into new years resolutions. Most of the time, I don’t end up keeping them, so what’s the point?
One year, I resolved to be better about sending birthday cards in a timely manner. I did better, but certainly still have room for improvement. Is it really that hard to put a card in the mail BEFORE someone’s birthday so that it actually arrives at the correct time? You wouldn’t think it would be.
Last year, I resolved to read the Bible in a year. Can’t say I did too well with that one. I think I realized somewhere in the spring that I was way too behind to ever catch up.
I think part of the reason why I don’t like making resolutions is that it’s a huge opportunity for failure, which I hate. I can’t stand making a decision to do something and then not following through. I may brush it off and act like it’s not a big deal, but it really does bother me.
This morning’s sermon was great. Kevin and I were discussing it quite a bit while driving from church to grab some lunch. The title was “Merge Ahead” and encouraged me to put myself in line with God’s agenda. I’m still sorting through it all in my mind, but it was just a great wakeup call for me.
For the past month or so, I feel like I’ve been living my life according to my agenda – trying to get pregnant again. This might not be a bad agenda, in and of itself, but I certainly haven’t been focussed enough on what God’s agenda is and how I can join him. My attitude has been all wrong.
My resolution for this year (and really my entire life) is to participate in God’s agenda, to put HIM in the driver’s seat and submit totally to Him. What that looks like specifically for me, I’m not so sure yet, and frankly that sort of scares me. I have some ideas of what I want that to look like, but ultimately I want to wake up each morning thanking God for his costly grace, and asking him how I can participate in what HE’S up to. I have no clue what that might look like from day to day.
Some days that might mean washing a pile of laundry and slaving over the stove so I can love my husband better, or visiting my grandmother in a nursing home just so she knows she’s loved and remembered, or just sitting at Jesus’ feet and soaking up every word he has to say. We’ll see…..