I’m completely embarrassed by the state of my laundry room and my cluttered house, but I keep reminding myself that it’s barely been a month and it can take a while to get back in the swing again. I never really have been a great housekeeper while working full time. I have never been one of those people who can go hard all day and then come home and cook a full course meal and keep an immaculate house. And then add 10k training, small group, support group once a month, Wednesday night Bible study, youth ministry commitments, and women’s ministry! When I sit down and think about it, I’m hardly even at home these days!! Luckily, I can usually rest up and relax on the weekends.
One thing I’m struggling with is finding good time in the Word. It’s very difficult to get up any earlier than I have to in order to get to work on time (around 6:15 or so) and most nights I go straight to the Y to get my training in. Then some nights I have places to be from 7-9pm. So by the time I get home, I often end up taking a quick shower and then heading straight to bed. The time just isn’t there these days and I feel like the only thing I could give up is 10k training, which can’t happen. I’m so close to the end anyway, it just wouldn’t make sense. So needless to say, my time has been inconsistent, which really bothers me. I was praying the other day about it and I’m anxious to see how the Lord will help me make time. I may need to get creative with it, but it’s so important to me. If you think about it, I’d definitely appreciate your prayers in that area. The one good thing about a 30 minute drive to and from work is the time I have to think and pray, so that has been good.
Speaking of 10k training, last week was the halfway mark! We ran 5 miles this morning, which is the farthest I’ve run in my entire life! We have 4 more weeks until the big race, so it should be good! I still can’t say that I love running, but I can see some improvement which has been an encouragement. I remember when running a mile was torture, so it’s hard to believe I am almost up to the race day mileage! I will say that it has taken a little toll on my body. I’m hoping that a good pair of running shoes will help with my achy feet and soar ankles.
I wish I could say that my weight loss has improved with all the running, but it hasn’t. In all honesty, I just haven’t had the time or energy to worry with what I’m eating. And being busier, it’s been virtually impossible to do much healthy cooking. I try to keep my eating somewhat in check, but I’ve always been the type that needs serious structure if I expect to see results. So this lack of structure in my diet has meant little weight loss. I’ll get there……..eventually! 🙂 I’m not beating myself up over it.
I’ve been missing my little boy a lot these days. I don’t know what it is, but it often hits me when I’m in the shower. I remember it being like that right after we lost him. I’d just stand in the shower and sob. I don’t cry that hard very often these days, but the tears still come. He’d be approaching 7 months old, and I can’t help but think of how much fun he’d be. That seems to be a fun age and I’m sorry to be missing out on that with him. Despite the difficult emotions and continued heartache, the Lord has faithfully met me in the midst of it. And I’m hopeful that our season of dancing will come!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.