In case you couldn’t guess by the title, I’ve been struggling the past few days and today was the breaking point. After a great appointment on Tuesday and lots of movements on Wednesday, I have found myself overcome with fear the past few days. I had a moment on Thursday evening before a women’s event with church that triggered it, but then it got better after feeling good movements shortly thereafter. It’s been a struggle ever since then. I’ve felt Savannah move and have continued to do regular kick counts, but I have to admit that I’m a wreck on the inside. Today I broke down, crying out to the Lord quite literally that I can’t do this anymore. I’m finding that this balancing act of trusting the Lord yet being ever so aware of my daughter’s every move (or lack thereof) to be utterly draining and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of this pregnancy. I am trying to trust the Lord, but also trying to be a wise and aware mother. If something is wrong, I want to be aware enough to notice.
Thus, the title of this post.
I’d like to ask for the prayer warriors out there who follow my blog to join me in very deliberate prayer these next 9 weeks. Many of you have told me that you are praying, which I appreciate so much, but I’m pleading for all you prayer warriors to step it up a notch if you can. I’d like to ask that you might consider picking a certain time of day or day of the week to bring Savannah and I (and Kevin) before the Father in prayer. Maybe on your way to work? Or while you are washing your hair in the shower? I’m so drained today that I’m not even 100% sure what to ask for you all to pray for, but here are a few things that come to mind.
– Savannah’s health and growth these last few weeks. That she would be healthy and strong by the time she is born, whenever that date might be. That blood flow through her cord would be good and her heart would beat strong.
– That my body would continue to support Savannah. That my cervix would remain strong and that my blood pressure and other vitals would remain normal.
– My spiritual walk. That I would not allow Satan to have a stronghold during the rest of this pregnancy. That the Lord would give me all that I need to get through the next 9 weeks.
– My husband, Kevin. That he would know how to support and encourage me in the midst of a busy semester at school.
If you feel led, would you consider posting a comment so we might know when you plan to pray?
I honestly hate relying on people for things, but I’m realizing that this fear struggle is much bigger than I could ever conquer on my own. I know that the devil delights in seeing me fearful, and I can just picture the devil cringing as he hears all the prayers and petitions on our behalf. Thank you so much for all the prayers and support thus far. We appreciate it more than you know.