I’m a people pleaser. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it here on this blog or not, but it’s true. While I don’t think it necessarily consumes me, it certainly is something that I struggle with and must keep giving up to the Lord.
I hate confrontation.
I want people to like me.
I want people to agree with my decisions.
Through the course of our house hunting, this struggle has managed to resurface yet again.
As I mentioned in my last post, we made an offer on a home. We found out on Monday that our offer was accepted! We had anticipated at least 1 counter, so were thrilled to find out they accepted the first offer and we didn’t have to even reach our maximum! Normally, one is super excited about all this, but within 24 hours, I found myself sobbing on the phone with some family members.
Here’s the thing. My family didn’t approve of the house. My parents both saw the house when they were in town this past fall and voiced some concerns then. We respect their opinion and certainly considered them, but at the end of the day we decided to proceed with things this past week. As I mentioned before, we have been thinking and praying about this particular house for over 2 months, had numerous people we respect and trust look it over for us, and finally had to make the decision we felt God was leading us to make.
But, earlier this week, the fact that my family was doubting our decision was eating me up inside! I had a good cry about it with my sister, talked with Kevin and some other friends about it, and am feeling much better now. We will be having this home inspected tomorrow, so this deal is by no means done. We shall see how it all plays out.
I guess I am just realizing just how much this desire to please people affects the way that I live my life…and it breaks my heart. I can only imagine that it breaks my Daddy’s heart too. While He certainly uses the people in my life to guide and direct me in certain situations, I put far too much weight in what they say.
This has been a good lesson for me. When walking according to the Lord’s leading, there should be joy and not doubt. His opinion is the most important opinion after all.
And when the rest of my family thinks we’re crazy, I know that my Heavenly Daddy knows what tomorrow brings and what we can handle, and would never lead Kevin and I in a direction unless He had a purpose in it. Remembering that this week has been so helpful. My load is so much lighter now!
One of these days, I may actually share their concerns, but let’s just get through the inspection first and then we’ll see! 🙂