I have to be honest, the past couple of months have been hard. While Kevin and I felt so blessed that God would give us a larger home, it has been incredibly daunting to try and get this home ready to be lived in.
We had planned for scraping wallpaper, painting, and sprucing up a kitchen, but with one decision to renovate a bathroom, the entire house is in shambles…..and I could not be more frustrated. There have been days when I literally thought I needed medication to get my emotions under control. Seeing no light at the end of the tunnel has sometimes seemed like it was more than I can bare. One specific day, I knew I needed to open up scripture, but I literally sat paralyzed due to anger and frustration. This might sound overly dramatic, but I felt forsaken and abandoned, not understanding why the Lord would provide this house for us, only for it to cause this much stress! We were perfectly content where we were!
Needless to say, scripture was exactly what I needed. I have been reading through the Bible using a chronological reading plans, so I opened up to where I had left off (I’m still in Numbers and am way behind but still not giving up!).
When I read chapter 11 of Numbers, I felt like the Lord was telling me that I was acting like the Israelites. Sure, we have been displaced for 3 months now with little to no progress having been made on the new house, but the Lord led us from our old home (albeit we weren’t in slavery like the Israelites were in Egypt) and promised us a new one. It was miraculous the way He overcame every obstacle!
I have felt like I have spent the past few months wandering in the desert, looking back at our old home and wishing I was back in Egypt when the Lord has provided a place for us. We just need to be patient to wait on His timing. I’m trying my best to stop looking back at our old house, wishing we were still there and wondering why in the world God prompted us to sell it, but it’s hard……extremely hard.
I know it may sound trivial, but if you could, we’d appreciate your prayers as we make big decisions about how to get this house livable in a timely manner. It’s complicated to say the least and I’m sure the folks in my inner circle are tired of hearing about the drama! Hopefully, we’ll have some pictures to share with you regarding our progress very soon!