Yesterday was a tough day. The day began wonderfully with a hot breakfast cooked by some dear friends in our home. One thing God is doing during the time is giving me lots of creative ideas on how I can love others – we’ve been loved so deeply that I have to confess I will probably be stealing some of those ideas to use on others! Kevin’s parents were still here, so it was nice to enjoy a good breakfast with them.
We didn’t do a whole lot during the day. We did get out around lunch – we returned something to Hallmark and Kevin’s mom insisted we use the money for something else rather than just getting the credit on her card. I did find a cute journal that I plan to use as a prayer journal. I have learned that journaling helps me be intentional about my prayer life and it’s also amazing to look back at how God has answered prayer. After finding the journail, I stumbled upon a sweet album that I plan to purchase in the next few days. It was sort of like a pre-made scrapbook where you can put all sorts of pictures and a lot of the “leg work” has already been done. It had some cute stickers and some sweet Scripture verses. It’s sort of like a memory book for someone’s life (it was in the memorium section) but it was really precious. I plan to use it to document Andrew’s sweet life with us. I look forward to filling it with sonogram pictures, pictures of my growing belly, shower pictures, and pictures from his delivery. We should get our professional pictures from his delivery in the next few days, so I look forward to that.
After a couple more errands, Kevin’s parents left around 2pm. It was time, but it was still hard. Kevin and I knew we needed some “alone” time, but it made our situation all the more real, very fast. Andrew was supposed to be there with us when everyone went home. We were supposed to be emotional about it, but more of an anxious excitement as to how we would navigate parenthood without the help of family around. It wasn’t supposed to feel so empty. Kevin and I sat in Andrew’s room for a while just hugging each other and crying for a bit. I love my husband and am so thankful that God has given him to me. I always thought we had a great marriage, but God has solidified our relationship with each other tremendously in just this short week. Kevin is a great Daddy.
The night got even more interesting around 6:30pm. We had a wonderful meal delivered by another sweet friend for dinner and had enjoyed eating that when we heard some voices from our laundry room. Our friends had returned with their children and rakes in hand, ready to start clearing out our “natural area” in our backyard. They raked out a lot of pine tags and dug up all sorts of weeds. We were able to plant a beautiful blue hydrangea along the backside of the fence. This hydrangea was given to us this past week (I think it was from the church folks but I’m not 100% sure since a lot of the cards from the flowers got mixed up). Regardless of who it was from, I absolutely love it. It’s very special since we also used this hyrangea at Andrew’s memorial service on Monday. Kevin and I plan to do some more plantings in the next few weeks – I have always wanted to do plantings in this area of our backyard, but never had the time or energy to do it. I think it will be therapeutic for us this fall and will be neat to watch it grow. I’ll post a pic of our hydrangea once I learn how!
After our friends left, Kev and I cleaned up and got ready for bed. I spoke with my mom and asked her what might be a good passage to read before bed since I hadn’t had time to read scripture yet. She mentioned Psalms 62. Someone had sent her a card with that reference on it, so she passed it along to me. I popped open my Bible and read it and was dumbfounded. Here goes:
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down— this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
I really don’t have any great words right now about this passage, but I was just amazed at it. When I set up this blog, there is a place where you can select a name. I had asked Kevin to be thinking about a name for it. I want this blog to glorify God in any way possible, even if just in its name. Kevin mentioned “My God is My Rock” and I really liked it, so I went with it. When I opened up this scripture and read that passage my mom had shared with me, God just hit me, “I’m in the details!” God even cares about the name of our blog and helped to confirm it. If God is in the details, I know God is in the big things too!