I’ve been wanting to post for the past couple of days, but so many things are swirling around in my head that I don’t even really know what to say.
I’ll start with a confession of sorts. Lately, I have found myself thinking some pretty terrible thoughts. I’ve also fallen victim to playing the comparison game. I won’t disclose everything here since I’ve already confessed to the Lord, but let’s just say that I have realized more in the past few days just how despicable I am in and of myself. I find myself echoing the word of Isaiah in Isaiah 6:1-7.
“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
I’m so thankful that my guilt is taken away! Some of the things that have crossed my mind and are wretched and I’m ashamed to even confess them here. But in the Lord’s mercy and grace, he has forgiven me and it has been forgotten! Oh, how I wish I could forgive like the Lord can – definitely something I need to work on.
On another note, I spent some time in Andrew’s room the other night. It’s a little cluttered right now (we have some things in there that still haven’t been put back in our island from our beadboard project at Christmas), and it’s really been bothering me. I’ve been wanting to take some pictures of it so we can remember what it looked like leading up to Andrew’s arrival. I have no idea what we’ll do with it down the road (depends on whether we have a girl or boy next), but regardless, it was Andrew’s room first and I want to remember it how it was when we were preparing for his birth. I’ll post some more pictures later once it’s totally cleaned up, but here’s a picture of the crib. I would love to have a girl, but I have to admit that I really would like to put this precious boy bedding to some good use.