Many people have been asking about how I’m doing physically. Thanks so much for asking – sometimes I even forget that I actually did deliver an 8 lb. baby only 11 days ago! I’m actually doing really well physically. I’m still a little sore, but overall I feel like my body is getting back to normal (which I actually have mixed feelings about – that’s an entire blog post in and of itself). I’m still taking it pretty easy though. I would love to begin exercising, but I need to ease back into that.
During the entire pregnancy, I gained about 35 pounds. I was so curious today about how much weight I had lost, so I actually stepped on the scale. I was shocked that I had lost 30 lbs already! I have no idea how it happened, since I’m not breastfeeding. CRAZY!!
I’ve been hesitant to post about this topic, but tonight sort of confirmed to me that I probably should post something about what people can do or say to Kevin and I during this time. We went to our friends’ son’s 13th birthday party tonight (and had a great time) and it was definitely awkward at times as we saw some people that we hadn’t seen since Andrew’s passing. Those initial conversations can be awkward as people don’t know what to say and how to say it.
There really are no words that can make this grief easy to deal with, so please don’t feel pressured to “say the right thing.” More than anything, I appreciate those that just acknowledge our loss of Andrew. Just a simple, “I don’t even know what to say, but I’m so sorry” means a lot. We obviously appreciate those who tell us that they are praying too – those prayers have gotten us through these past 2 weeks.
A friend from church brought a meal tonight, and I thoroughly enjoyed talking with her. One thing she did that meant a lot to me was asking lots of questions. She asked us about how we were doing, about our upcoming weekend away, and how I was doing physically. She saw Andrew’s picture and spent time asking us about his hair color and commented that he looked a lot like Kevin. She asked about how long we got to spend with Andrew and whether I felt peace when I held him. It was so nice to be able to talk to her about Andrew – I love talking about him and I honestly love it when people ask questions about his delivery and our time with him.
I hope that this is helpful in some way. I also hope that those of you who have spoken to us don’t take this post the wrong way and think you have failed in what you may have done or said to us already. We know that you all have the best of intentions and like I said earlier, it can even be awkward for me. We’re new to this too.
I did want to share with you part of the devotional I read today. I have started going through Nancy Guthrie’s devotional titled The One Year Book of Hope. A friend from high school, Stacy, recommended it and I’m thoroughly enjoying it so far. Stacy gave birth to a beautiful son, Isaac, back in October and he went to be with Jesus 16 minutes later. Check out her blog here to read more about their story and how God has been walking with them through their grief – it will touch your soul.
The devotion was titled “Your Tears Matter To God.” This hit home for me, as I have definitely been crying a lot lately. Here’s an excerpt.
“And know that God does not discount or dismiss your tears. They are precious to him because you are precious to him. In fact, when God reveals glimpses of the culmination of human history-in a future that will fully reveal and be fully worthy of his glory-he includes as a centerpiece, this promise in Isaiah 25:8: ‘The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears.’ Picture in your mind right now the Lord of the universe reaching down to gently and lovingly wipe away your tears. He doesn’t ignore them or tell you that if you really had faith you wouldn’t cry. He wipes them away. And Revelation 21:4 tell us that not only will he wipe away tears, he will remove all of the sorrow that caused them. God’s plan for the future is to destroy forever the evil that has brought you so much pain and then to live forever with you in a place he has lovingly prepared where there will be no more tears.”
WOW! I needed to read that today. God wipes away my tears and will wipe away my sorrow! It’s my prayer that anyone reading this blog will come to know the God that is big enough to wipe away our tears and will wipe away our sorrow.
I am so thankful for your friend from church who spent time asking you questions, particularly about Andrew. I know for me, it is the greatest gift to have an invitation to talk about Isaac.
So glad you've been enjoying The One Year Book of Hope so far. I pray that it continues to soothe your soul.
~ Stacy