Right now, I’m sitting at an internet cafe at Deep Creek Lake in MD. I had no idea that Kevin and I would end up getting a weekend away after all. I’m definitely a vacation person and normally have at least one scheduled each summer. We weren’t able to squeeze one in this summer with Kevin teaching summer school and Andrew’s due date being right in between summer school and the regular school year. I was actually okay with that this summer, since I was so looking forward to having our little man with us. That was going to be the highlight of my summer far beyond any vacation!
Well, things didn’t turn out that way and here we are enjoying some time away in the mountains. It’s bittersweet. I’m enjoying myself, but I long for Andrew to be here with us. I broke down last night when we were about to start cooking diner. I think I had just had enough for the day as far as reminders that Andrew wasn’t with us.
When we stopped at the Hagerstown outlets for lunch, I saw what seemed to be at least 10 moms/families walking around with their infants or children. I would have loved to have gone into the Carter’s outlet and pick up a few things. When we packed up, I longed to have to pack “light” to be able to fit all of Andrew’s stuff in the car. Even just being up here is a reminder that Andrew isn’t here – we shouldn’t even here right now. We should be at home still getting into our routine. It’s tough, but God is still good. He’s continuing to comfort me each and every day.
I’ve enjoyed some good talks with my mom and sister. I feel like I can talk about Andrew, pregnancy, delivery, and our future as much or as little as I want and they are okay with that. Having children didn’t come easy for either of them, so they are able to relate in a special way. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to post while we’re here, but I’ll get caught up when we get back to Richmond on Sunday.
Could you please pray that God would really bless this time I have with my family – that God would continue to remind me that our future is full of hope despite my sorrow right now? Also, could you please pray for the Isaac Delisle golf tournament today? This tournament is in memory of my friend Stacy’s precious baby boy Isaac. For more info, check out this http://isaacsgolftournament.org/.
Sarah, I just want to thank you for your courage and strength in writing this blog. God has already used your words to challenge me, bring me to tears and ask some hard questions of Him and he has been reminding me daily to pray for you and Kevin. Thanks, sis, for your faithfulness.