I’m a terrible mother!
I woke up this morning and laid in bed for a few minutes before getting up and heading into the kitchen for my usual cereal breakfast. I started thinking about what the date was today, as I knew the 3 month mark of Andrew’s birth was approaching soon. I took a look at my cell phone and realized the date was 11/8 and I had missed my son’s 3 month birthday yesterday!!
I’m not seriously beating myself up over it, but it does frustrate me. If Andrew were here, I would be filling up his baby book with all sorts of memories and milestones each and every month. I’d be totally on top of the monthly milestones and loving documenting every bit of it!
But, that’s just not the case, so I guess I should cut myself some slack. Regardless of whether I make a special effort to remember Andrew on his monthly birthdays, I think of him each and every day.
Oh how I wish things could have turned out different.
Oh how I wish this wasn’t the way his pregnancy ended.
Oh how I wish I could be enjoying my precious son right now.
In church this morning, I was thinking about Andrew a lot. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I always feel so close to him while I’m at church. I don’t know what it is about being in that specific place, but I just feel this closeness to him when worshipping on Sunday mornings. I picture him worshipping the Lord at the very same time we are.
I am so comforted knowing that Andrew is in heaven. Although I miss him so much, he’s so perfectly happy. In fact, maybe he’s celebrating his 3 month anniversary in heaven!? I’m sure God can throw a much better party than I ever could! 🙂
Oh how I can’t wait to be there in heaven with him.
Oh how I can’t wait to catch up after all the time we’ve missed together on earth.
Dear Andrew,
Mommy misses you so much! It’s so hard to believe that you’ve been in heaven with Jesus for over 3 months now. Daddy and I went to the mall yesterday with Mimi, Baba, and your great aunt Sharon. We had a fun time shopping, but would have loved to have you there with us. I know you’re having the time of your life up in heaven though. I can’t wait to hear about all the great times you’re having when we get there too. Oh, how much fun it will be to see you again!
We love you so very much and think of you every single day. You make me so proud!
Mommy & Daddy
