6 Months Without Andrew

Andrew is celebrating his 6th month in heaven today, and although I’m so happy for him, I still miss him terribly. Reaching the 6th month mark seems like a big deal to me. It’s been half a year since I held my sweet son. It’s been half a year since we laid him to rest a couple of days later.

While it seems like an eternity since we’ve seen our precious Andrew, it also seems like it was just yesterday. While the Lord has certainly met us in the midst of the most painful time of our lives, the pain and longing is still there. I think it always will be.

Although I’ve only been a mother for 6 months (more like 15 months if you include the time Andrew was inside my womb), I’ve already learning how difficult being a parent can be. I may not be able to relate to parents who have lost lots of sleep in the middle of the night, or parents who have dealt with a colicky baby, or parents who are struggling to potty train. But, I am able to relate to those parents who aim to let go of their children and entrust them to the Lord. Although we may know in our minds that our children are far better off in the Lord’s hands, it’s difficult to let them go and trust that God is big enough to take care of them when we can’t. While many parents learn this when their children are old enough to go to kindergarten, when they head off to college, or when they marry and move away, Kevin and I have had to do this from day one. It’s been difficult for sure, but we trust that God himself has Andrew safe and secure in his arms.

This morning, I was checking blogs and noticed a post from my friend, Stacy. She posted a video that she had seen on one of the blogs she follows. After viewing it myself, and crying a few different times, I wanted to share this video with you all as well. I hope it touches your soul and reminds you of just how mighty our God is and how capable he is of restoring our messy lives.