Marriage requires a lot more effort than I ever imagined. I love being married, but I fall short in so many ways and was reminded of that as I was praying for my son and his future wife. I want to be the wife that I pray for! What about you?
I love to rock and snuggle my little boy before putting him down for the night. It’s one of my favorite times of the day, not just because it means some downtime for this tired mom, but mostly because I know how quickly those moments will pass. He’s currently 21 months, so it’s becoming harder and harder to get those snuggles, but I still try. Our little routine usually includes a book, at least one song, and then a prayer.
My prayers for him include all sorts of things – for his safety and protection, for a tender heart that is receptive to the Gospel, and oftentimes for his future spouse.
This particular day, my prayers focused on his future spouse. I went through some of the different qualities that I hope he finds in his marriage partner – an encourager, respecter, defender of his reputation, helper, cheerleader, and a safety net – and then it was like the Holy Spirit dropped the hammer on me.
Am I those things for his Daddy?
Oh, I want to be, but am I?
More than likely, my husband’s mother prayed the same prayers for him. I shudder to think that I may not be the answer to those prayers that she prayed. In that moment, I was humbled beyond belief.
Reminded of what my primary role is between that of wife and mother. My role as wife comes first, but does it really?
It’s no secret that having children can put a strain on a marriage. Marriage is challenging enough as it is, but adding on the role of mother? The weight of the responsibility can be heavy and feel insurmountable at times.
I know that my role as wife to Kevin is THE most important role I have, but it doesn’t always play itself out that way when my little ones are screaming for my attention just as their father walks in the door. My young children can be demanding and they aren’t quiet when their needs aren’t being met.
I admit it, I am guilty of letting the needs of my husband fall to the wayside simply because his voice isn’t as loud as his children’s. And while I know it’s not even possible for me to fulfill my husband’s every need, I want to be the best wife for him that I can be. I want to be the wife that I pray for {for my son}.
So, in that bring-me-to-my-knees moment before putting my son down for the night, I recommitted myself to my marriage. I want my children to observe a healthy and strong marriage {notice I didn’t say perfect?}, and through that, to see Jesus.
It sounds good on paper, but how on earth am I supposed to really do it? I have clearly not arrived, but here’s what I think is vital to prioritizing and nurturing my marriage.
1. Spend time with Jesus {and in His word} regularly
There’s no way I can do this wife and mom thing within my own strength. I need Jesus to transform my thinking and I can’t become more like Jesus without being in regular communication with him. It’s that simple. I NEED Jesus to convict me and teach me how to be the wife I need to be for my husband.
2. Make time each day for intentional communication/listening
I won’t know what my husband needs unless I listen. Oftentimes, so much of our communication is just information dumping, and while that is sometimes necessary, it’s important to make time for intentional and deliberate communication and listening.
3. Pray for him often
It’s hard for me to not think about the things that I am praying about. If I’m being intentional about praying for someone or something, it’s probably safe to say that the person or thing is on my mind throughout the day as well. I want for my husband to be on my mind a lot and praying for him is just one way to ensure that he is at the forefront of my thoughts.
The task of being a wife and mother is more than a woman can fulfill on her own. It’s only through the power and equipping of the Holy Spirit that we get any of it right. And while I know that I’ll never be perfect, I want to be the wife that I pray for.
What about you?
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