Mother’s Day

I’m not even sure I know where to begin.  I guess I should start out by thanking so many of you who thought of Andrew and I today prayed for me on this Mother’s Day.  It’s been a nice day, but I’ve been missing Andrew a ton today as I’m sure you can imagine. 

I distinctly remember Mother’s Day last year and the excitement I was feeling knowing I was officially a mother and would be holding my sweet little boy 3 months later.  They gave out flowers at church last year and they handed one to me, which was so nice.  At first I felt a little odd accepting it, but I’m so glad that I did.  I was a mom then, even though Andrew wasn’t with us outside my womb.  And I’m a mom now, even though Andrew wasn’t with us today.  That was a special moment last year.

This year, we were not at home and did not get to attend church.  Although we didn’t leave town specifically to miss church this Mother’s Day, it might have been a good thing.  I’m not sure how I would have held up at church this morning along with the fact that it was baby dedication Sunday too.  Instead, Kevin and I were in Pittsburgh with my family to celebrate my cousin’s college graduation.  We really enjoyed our time together.  We had planned to spend yesterday evening at a Pirates game, but the weather was so cold we decided to hang out at the hotel instead.  We practically took over a good portion of the restaurant (which was pretty empty) and just gathered around and talked and talked.  It was nice.

This morning, we all met up at the restaurant for breakfast and enjoyed more time together.  My mother, grandmother, and Kevin gave me some sweet cards.  Lots of hugs were shared and a few tears were shed, but it was so nice to be remembered as a mother today.  I have to share the sweet message on the card my grandmother gave me.  It read, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy.  Happy thoughts, warm hugs and lots of love, too – Are in this special Mother’s Day wish that’s just for you!” 

At the bottom she signed it, “We’ll make up for lost time one day.  Love you Mom, Andrew”

The tears started then.  It’s that hope that gets me through these tough days.  The hope that we will be able to make up for lost time when we are reunited in heaven.  It just touched me so much because that it what I long for!

Even leading up to Mother’s Day, I received some sweet gifts, which were so very thoughtful.  On Thursday when I got home from work, I received some flowers from the folks at our church.  The card was so sweet and mentioned how they were thinking of Andrew and I on this Mother’s Day.  Thursday night, I was also given a really thoughtful gift.  A friend of mine gave me a beautiful pillow with Andrew’s silhouette on it.  It’s green to represent Andrew’s birth month.  Thank you so much, Megan!  I can’t thank you enough for all the effort you put into that gift!

Even though there is some sadness today, I can’t help but be thankful.  Andrew made me a mom, and I’m so grateful for that.  I miss him more than I can describe, but I am so lucky to have had him for 9 whole months.  I would prefer it was longer, but I’m still so very blessed! 

I’ve been thinking of and praying for all the mommas out there today.  This day has the potential to be so full of joy for so many women but also so hard for so many others.  To those of you who have lost children, I am thinking of you and your babies in heaven today.  To those of you who long to be a mother, I am thinking of you today.  Infertility is such a painful struggle and I acknowledge that today.  To those of you who have children to hold, I am rejoicing with you today and praising God for your sweet blessings.  To those of you who are missing your own mothers, I am praying for you today and asking the Lord to comfort you today.
I pray that the Lord would wrap his loving arms around you and shower you all with lots of love today.

And I want to publicly acknowledge my own mother today.  I am so thankful that God gave me a mother who understands the struggle of infertility and loss.  You have been there with me through the good and the bad.  Your faith inspires me to keep trusting the Lord even when it’s difficult.  Thanks for always being there for me and for loving our little boy and acknowledging him as part of our family.

And I can’t forget my sweet mother-in-law today.  I’ve been blessed to have a mother-in-law who loves me so much!  Thank you for loving me like your own daughter and for accepting me into your family.  And thank you for not being afraid to talk about Andrew.  It means the world!