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9 Months Without Andrew

May 8, 2010 by Sarah

Kevin and I just arrived (along with my grandmother) at our hotel here in Pittsburgh for the weekend.  By the time of this post, you can probably guess that we were later getting here than we had hoped.  I’m thankful for wireless internet and laptops that allow me to post even though I’m not home.  Though the date on this post will be May 8th, I’m still considering it May 7th until I turn out the lights and hit the sack for the night (which will be very soon).

This picture was taken at the hospital after we had given Andrew to the staff.  I’m so proud of my little boy!

I just couldn’t let this day go by without a post about our son’s 9th month in heaven.  It’s so hard to believe that Andrew would be 9 months old if he were still with us.  It’s also hard to believe that Andrew has been in heaven for the same amount of time that he was in my womb.  From here on out, his time in eternity will far outweigh his short time on earth.  I can’t reiterate enough how thankful I am for an eternity spent in heaven through Christ’s blood, but I still wish my baby were here with us.  I can’t lie.  As a mother, I wish we could have held him in our arms alive before he went home to be with Jesus.  It makes me feel a little better when I think about how special Andrew is that Jesus chose to take our precious little guy home to be with him sooner rather than later.  In some ways, I guess it’s a compliment?  I’d like to think so.

I don’t have a whole lot of deep thoughts to share today.  Just that I miss my son like crazy.  I looked at his pictures quite a bit and was just reminded of how much I love him.  This weekend has the potential be a difficult one, with it being Mother’s Day and all.  We won’t be at church on Sunday since we’re out of town, so I won’t have to deal with the awkwardness of what the day could bring at church.  But, it still plain stinks that my “proof” of my motherhood isn’t here.  I know that I don’t need to prove to anyone that I’m a mother.  I know what it felt like to carry him and love on him for 9 whole months, but it just stinks that the physical evidence of his existence is limited to stretch marks on my belly.  That little boy has a very large piece of my heart, and that’s all the proof I really need.  

Dear Andrew,
Mommy and Daddy wish you were here with us in Pittsburgh.  The entire family is here, except for you.  I know that you are having a wonderful day today and enjoying every moment with all your friends.  I hope you know that we love you and miss you so much.  We will never forget your sweet little face and cute little nose.  It’s been 9 whole months since we’ve seen you, but I can’t wait until the day when we will never have to say goodbye to you again.  We know that Jesus is taking wonderful care of you and we couldn’t be more grateful. 
We love you,
Mommy & Daddy

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Comments

  1. Heidi says

    May 9, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    That photo of your son is so precious. His little hands are so beautiful. Happy Mother's day to you. I pray this year god blesses you both with full term healthy baby.

  2. sjefferson says

    May 10, 2010 at 2:19 am

    Sarah,

    Your Andrew was just beautiful! 9 months…wow. I can't believe it's been that long. Happy Mother's Day to you today. I can't imagine the pain today brought, but know that I'm praying for you.

    Sarah

  3. Holly says

    May 18, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Andrew is so beautiful! Happy 9 month birthday little guy!

Meet Sarah

Hey, I'm Sarah (a.k.a. The Teacher's Wife)! Wife to a history teacher and mom of 5 kids (2 in heaven). I'm a coffee addict, budget nerd, who's obsessed with good chips and salsa. I love finding ways to organize & manage my home and life...all on a budget! I'm thrilled you stopped by and I hope you'll find something inspiring! Read More…

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