It’ll Be Alright

Today started out pretty promising.  I woke up and was ready for the day before the kids woke for probably the first time all summer long.  {Have I mentioned that I’ve loved having Kev at home in the mornings this summer?}  Bed was even made.  Basing things on the start to my day alone, things were gonna be alright.

We’d had a medical bill roll in yesterday afternoon and continue to have trouble with Kev’s truck overheating, but things were gonna be okay.

I dropped Kev off at school, even though he isn’t supposed to be there until next week.  He likes to get a head start on planning and organizing his room.  He’s such a hard worker, what can I say? 🙂

I was huffing it over to another side of town to make it to our appointment on time.  Brady had his follow up appointment with the ENT who put in his ear tubes and since he hasn’t had any ear troubles whatsoever, I figured it would be short, sweet, and hard to beat!

It will always be a little odd pulling into the parking lot of that building.  It happens to be the same medical building where we had our pediatric urologist consult to discuss Andrew’s polycystic kidney, which was one day prior to us learning that he had already gone to be with Jesus.  Oh, the memories….  

I made it up to the appointment and after waiting for a bit, we were finally called back.  I was surprised when one of the audiologists called us back to the sound booth.  Apparently, he would be getting a hearing test.

I thought everything was fine when they did the brain scan after inserting the ear tubes?  

Why do we need a hearing test?

I’m no audiologist but I knew it wasn’t good when he was not turning towards all the sounds.  Just like before, he responded to some sounds but not all.  The audiologist that tested him this time flat out said that she was not pleased with his results.  Man, way to take the wind out of my sails!

More than anything, I was completely taken aback by her concern because he had passed the brain scan screening on surgery day.  In my mind, I had checked hearing loss off my list of concerns for Brady. 

The other audiologist who took us back to the exam room was much better about easing my concern, which was such a blessing.  Without her there, I probably wouldn’t have been able to hold the tears back.  First off, she reassured me that Brady is certainly not deaf.  They just want to see him again in a couple of weeks so they can test him again before telling me his hearing is 100% perfect when it might not be.

My head started swirling and after she left the room for me to wait to see the ENT, tears started to well up.  I choked them back for fear that the doctor would walk in on me and think I was a lunatic.  I started praying too and telling the Lord exactly what was on my concerned Mama’s heart.

I wasn’t mad or angry, just discouraged and a little sad that things have to be so complicated for our precious little Brady.  It’s moments like those in exam rooms that cause me to grieve again at the fact that Brady had to be a cleft palate statistic in the first place.  But, then the Lord ever so gently reminds me that He’s got it…that He’s got him…..

He reminds me that in the scheme of things, slight hearing loss is not a huge issue.  {I’ll take hearing loss any day over another stillborn child}.

He reminds me that He knew about these challenges before Brady was even conceived and that He’s got them under control. 

He reminds me that when my first instinct is to call my mother up on the phone and cry, that He is the one who can truly understand my emotions over this and speak peace and comfort to my weary soul.

Being a Mom can be so hard. 

We want the absolute best for our children and the thought of our children facing obstacles can be gut-wrenching.  We want to make it all better and wipe away their tears. 

But, it’s moments like today that God reminds me that His grace is more than sufficient and that with Christ, we are more than conquerors.  I’m so thankful for those truths. 

When the ENT finally did walk in almost 45 minutes later, we had a good talk about the results of the hearing test.  His ear tubes looked great and she feels in her gut that his hearing is just fine.  She’s not God and no one but Him really knows what’s going on yet, but I left in much better spirits.

Maybe it’s a good thing the wait time for the doctor was so long after all!

If any of you are needing another good read after some discouragement today, head over to The Blue-Eyed Bride {I’ve recently discovered her} and read this post.  It’s a great one!  

 

Fondly,