This post is late and I have to be honest and tell you that I have some guilt about it. Sometimes I wonder if there’s any point in sharing about our sweet firstborn, since many who read here may not even know our story. But, the mother in me wants his memory to always remain alive, even if it’s just in our home, with friends, or and on this blog.
Andrew’s birthday was on a Sunday, so we had plans to go to church in the morning and then “celebrate” in the afternoon once naps were over.
We don’t tend to do anything elaborate, but we’ve kept up with our tradition of visiting the cemetery to release some balloons. I let the kids each pick out a balloon to release . This year, there was some disappointment when one of our kids accidentally let go of his balloons early. I wonder if you can guess who that was (see photo above). 😉
The kids were started to melt down a bit, so we didn’t even have time to leave any fresh flowers. I was a little bummed about that, but it’s alright.
Once we got back to the house, we ate some yummy birthday cake. Our family loves sweets, so we always remember Andrew’s birthday with cake.
Our celebration this year was pretty simple. One of these days, I really hope we can do a weekend away together to celebrate as a family away from all the hustle and bustle of life. Whenever August rolls around, I find that my soul really longs to be still and quiet as I remember my firstborn but it’s so hard at this stage of my life.
I’m thankful that God is so gracious to remind me that my son’s place in our family is secure, no matter how we go about celebrating his birthday each year.
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I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you would have been 7 this year. I will never forget those first moments where I laid eyes on you after your delivery. After carrying you for 38 weeks, all I wanted was to see your face. Even though I knew it would be excruciatingly hard, seeing you and holding you was also joyful. That time holding your fully formed body and kissing your sweet little nose was sacred and I will forever cherish those memories. Handing you over to the nurses was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I knew I’d never get to hold you again on this side of heaven.
I cannot fathom what your life is like in heaven, but I know it is wonderful. I look forward to our reunion someday, when we will both be with Jesus face to face together. Sweet Andrew, I love you more than you will ever know. I think of you every day and you are not forgotten. I am a different person because of you. I want you to know that.
I love you so very much,