There’s really no way around it. Being a mother is hard word and very tiring tiring. The job is 24/7 and you are always on call. I believe it’s the best job in the world, but certainly a demanding one. If you are an introvert mom like me, then your job as mom is even more complex.
{Note: This post contains affiliate links. Read disclosure here.}
I love being social {although crowds of total strangers intimidate me} and getting together with friends and family, but it DRAINS me. Oftentimes, after a social gathering in the evening, I retreat into myself for a little recharge before going to bed. I have come to need that time to unwind before heading off into peaceful slumber at night.
I thoroughly enjoy being with my children during the day and wouldn’t trade it for a minute, but it makes it tricky for this introvert. There are times when I feel utterly drained from an entire day with a cute little one either attached to me or following me around everywhere I go {that part is better now that my kids are mobile and becoming more independent}.
Since I want to be the best mommy and wife I can possibly be, I’ve realized that I must carve out time for myself in order to relax and recharge my batteries. I have nowhere near arrived, but I wanted to share my own 6 tips for every introvert mom to feel more renewed and recharged. These ideas could apply to anyone really {mommy or not}, but I think they especially apply to us introverts.
1. Get up earlier in the morning
I am working on this one as we speak, but I have found that my day runs much smoother when I wake up at least 1 hour before the kids. I am able to begin my day with a little silence and solitude, so I feel more “ready” for what the day brings with my kids. Getting adequate sleep is important though, so if you are getting up early, make sure your bedtime helps accommodate it.
2. Plan a personal retreat
I recently enjoyed my first personal retreat and it was incredibly refreshing and rejuvenating. You could spend a morning or afternoon away, or even an entire day if you’d like. This would require some planning ahead for childcare, but I found my recent personal retreat to be time well spent. I came back feeling much more energized. If you can afford to actually get away, that might be even better. I was so blessed by my girl’s weekend last summer and I came back so rested.
3. Pamper yourself
With all the other demands of my time, I have a tendency to put myself on the back burner. It’s not abnormal for me to go 6 months between haircuts and I can’t tell you the last time I blow-dried my hair. Even something small like soaking in a bubble bath or giving yourself an at-home manicure might be all it takes to help you feel more relaxed and rejuvenated. Taking a little bit of time to pamper yourself each week can do wonders! This works best for me in the evenings once the kids are in bed.
4. Utilize nap time
I have realized that nap time needs to be time for mommy. I heard another blogger call it her “power hour.” If I haven’t managed to spend time reading a devotional* or my Bible* yet, I will often do it during nap time. If time allows, I may work on blogging or something else I enjoy that energizes me. I no longer let myself feel guilty for taking nap time for myself rather than doing housework. There will always be housework to be done, but there will not always be quiet moments for me to steal away and recharge a bit.
5. Get out alone in the evening
If I haven’t been able to make time for the ideas above, a little time out alone in the evening will usually do the trick. Sometimes I will grab a cup of coffee and sit and read for 30 minutes or sometimes I’ll run some errands by myself. It usually doesn’t take much time away before I’m anxious to get back!
6. Pick an end time
My mom reminded me of the old adage, “a woman’s work is never done” shortly after I became a mom. Even though there is no beginning or end to a woman’s work, try picking an end time to your workday. I struggle with this, but I think it’s a really great idea. Don’t feel obligated to fold laundry at night when you’d benefit much more from taking that time to spend alone or in meaningful conversation with your spouse. The work will always be there, but your health and relationships might not if you aren’t careful.
I love my children and husband dearly, but I’ve learned that I am not able to serve and love them effectively if I do not take good care of myself. As a woman of faith, I rely heavily on the Lord to give me the energy and stamina I need to care for my family, but I also believe there are some practical steps we can take as well. I am definitely still learning how to find the right balance for me as an introvert mom. What about you?
Do you struggle with balancing motherhood & your need for silence and solitude?
P.S. For more frugal family inspiration delivered to your inbox, subscribe to my email list here.
Agreed! 🙂 I'm the same way, and have found taking nap time to have some down time to be very refreshing. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks, Jessica! I used to feel this urgency to get so much accomplished during nap time, but then I realized that I was good for nothing by the time nap time was over and I still needed to get dinner started. Nap time rest/down time has been key for me!
yes! especially to #3, 4, and 6. I have just determined that nap time will NOT be get-caught-up-on-all-the-cleaning time; otherwise, I still feel depleted when it's time for my little one to get up. nap time definitely equals me time! thanks for posting this!
You are so right, Julie! I'm totally okay with relaxing during their nap time when it means I am better equipped to tackle the rest of the evening. When I worked outside of the home, I had an hour lunch break so I don't feel bad anymore! 🙂
Thank you so much for this article!! I used to think I was just an odd ball who preferred my own company haha. Now I know that I just rejuvenate when I am alone! I have had the hardest time finding balance with this since I started my preschool. My kids are all in school but I have 48 kids a week through my house. I love them dearly but I am thoroughly exhausted by the time my own kids get home from preschool. There isn't always time to unwind either, so I am still working on this, as I don't want my kids to feel like I give more energy to the preschoolers than to them. This was a great reminder for me. Thank you!!
Oh Heidi, I so feel for you! I'm sure that running your own preschool and taking care of your own family leaves you pretty drained! I hope you can find some ways to take just a little time out for your self, so you can recharge your batteries! In your case, I'd definitely try to utilize your weekends for some "you" time if you can!!
(Just saw this on Pinterest so I'm a little late to the party. lol)
I love this! I'm not a "textbook introvert" in that I'm super quiet and keep to myself. But I very much need 1-2hrs a day to myself to recharge. About a year ago I started giving myself permission to take nap time off, or at least mostly off. I fold laundry while watching DVR'd stuff then since folding laundry with a 2yr old is pretty pointless. 🙂
It's interesting b/c even though I wrote this from an introvert perspective, it totally applies to any mother who just needs time to recharge. Taking nap time off is one of the tips I have implemented the most. When I worked outside the home, I at least had a lunch break {which I no longer get since I'm making the kids lunches}, so I don't feel bad anymore! 🙂
I really needed this! Sometimes I feel bad for feeling like I want to run and hide from everyone and sometimes I don't spend the time with my little guy that I should b/c I never, ever get time for myself…I need to start doing that somehow, some way! I know that I have needed an end time, but I needed someone to tell me that I needed one to ACTUALLY do it! I feel so much better now…it's amazing how you can feel bad about something that's totally ok!
I'm so glad you found it helpful. Sometimes I think we just need to give ourselves permission to stop working and rest….we feel like we need to do it all and it's just not possible! {Or maybe that's just me!} 🙂
I've seen so many posts on introverts in general, but none on how it relates to motherhood. You've described my feelings exactly. I think all moms need alone time, but it IS especially wearing on introverts. I love your tips and will try a few out. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings!
Thanks for your encouragement! I'm slowly embracing myself as an introvert and it's been tricky trying to balance my need for retreat with motherhood, but I'm getting there!! I hope some of the ideas are helpful to you. 🙂
I'm learning this about myself too. Wonderful ideas. I especially like #6 – you've got to call it quits at some point!
Yes, indeed! Nobody is has super powers! 🙂
I have always wondered if being an introvert made motherhood more difficult – b/c there are times I just need space and silence!! That is so challenging when they are toddlers and babies!! I was thrilled to see your list – they are all things I try to do and I'm glad I'm not the only mom who feels the way you do 🙂
I can't speak for older children, but I certainly think it makes sense for introverts to struggle a bit when our children are little. I love snuggling my babies, but at the end of the day, I'm DONE with being touched! 🙂 I've come to just understand that about myself rather than let myself feel badly about it. Hang in there, fellow introvert!
This article is right on for me! As a single mom of two teenage girls,and an active six year old boy,I definitely have a rewarding yet mentally draining load. I just recently starting forcing myself to let the housework wait and take some time for myself. This article helped me realize that just because I crave quiet time and tend to be in my head alot doesn't mean I'm a bad mom,it's just part of who I am. I'm also learning to interact with my children more and find pleasure doing so,I mean lets face it being a playmate to your six year old son isn't exactly my hooorah of a good time, I'd much rather be on Pinterest! Lol but I'm a work in progress and I learn something new each day, Take care,I'm glad to know I'm not alone!
This article is right on for me! As a single mom of two teenage girls,and an active six year old boy,I definitely have a rewarding yet mentally draining load. I just recently starting forcing myself to let the housework wait and take some time for myself. This article helped me realize that just because I crave quiet time and tend to be in my head alot doesn't mean I'm a bad mom,it's just part of who I am. I'm also learning to interact with my children more and find pleasure doing so,I mean lets face it being a playmate to your six year old son isn't exactly my hooorah of a good time, I'd much rather be on Pinterest! Lol but I'm a work in progress and I learn something new each day, Take care,I'm glad to know I'm not alone!
This post is especially helpful for me as a mom who is starting her second year as a homeschooling mom who is also an introvert. With a child who wants to be by my side every second and who is too old for naps I’m realizing the need for each of us to have individual time to recharge and recuperate each day. Thanks for a great article.
I hope you can find some ways to make it a priority, Renee! My heart goes out to you- hang in there! — Sarah 🙂
Getting up early in the morning has SAVED me. Seriously, it may be difficult, but it is the best thing I could’ve done for myself. I am able to get in 2-3 hours every morning where it’s just ME. I’m able to blog, or watch TV, or take a bath, and it is marvelous. Thank you so much for sharing this! <3
It definitely helps so much! I’m glad you are finding it to be so helpful. I hope you have a great night! –Sarah 🙂
How wonderful to meet a fellow introverted mother! I didn’t realise just how introverted I am until I had kids. Instead of enjoying parenthood, and being the joyful, fun mother I’d always imagined, I was irritable and felt like screaming whenever I heard “Mummy …” We learned that if I didn’t get regular time away to myself that I became exhausted and drained. Guarding that time seems like selfishness, but I have learned (the hard way!) that it is not selfish to take care of my energy levels, so that I can give better when I return. Thank you for sharing your tips.
Me too! It really took having children for me to become more self aware and realize how I need to guard my energy level. I hope some of the tips are helpful! Have a great day! –Sarah 🙂
I so appreciate this post as a very introverted mama! I noticed your devotional links to Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling, too – I love that book. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement and advice!
Thank you so much and you are most welcome! I hope you have a great day and can find some moments to recharge your introvert batteries! — Sarah 🙂